The Sala-Blog

This week I found myself looking for an excuse to play with autotune, wanting to develop a 3 pitch layer vocal effect of my own, reminiscent of something I've overused since the old 4-track cassette days. But with just a hint of T-Pain cheesiness. Unfortunately, none of the songs currently in my hopper would have been appropriate for such a thing. I needed a new song I didn't mind destroying.

So, I decided to ask anyone on any of my social networks to submit random words or phrases to me, that I could tie into nonsensical lyrics. I figured this could be a fun songwriting challenge as well. Some of the words, neither my dictionary nor I knew, but we used them anyhow. Originally I was going to throw all of the submissions into a hat, but they came in at an interesting order, and the following lyrics took shape, from at least a hundred people Thursday night and Friday morning.

v1:
An engorged gazebo sports tomatoes on the vine while an excretory shammy hits on a moist strumpet.
Perpendicular calendars reveal frivolous decadence of systematic sass and technicolor delicious
while conjetory hilarity rejects antichrist brothers and their pouting crush on a melon baller brawler.
Summertime Pooh gets down for Halibut pudding. A mind bending commercial for a lovely lactavist makes an appropriate smoothie from a vintage miracle based on a dishonest submission in the arctic upstairs.

(This next one mentioned Dr. Who and thus had to be the refrain)
A glamorous avatar wearing a Debbie Gibson trucker hat is charting Google invites for a Doctor Who companion, who's drinking hot Kool-Aid in her time-machine ambulance from Chartreuse Five. We all shout: Abracadabra!

v2:
Destiny calls collect from a metropolitan bukkake farm while ninja assassins claim kleptomania on their taxes, eating luke-warm sandwiches.
Just like downtown, the rain pains the insane, forging a solid gold silver lining.
Merangay cookies smoking sprinkled Christmas news, while discussing mortality's conduct and falling off the rails.
A sense of illongated independence consumes relations with the legendary vocal stylings of a swimsuit arena technocrat's sweet ambrosia during a doink.

(refrain)

v3:
Amicable arrangements between douchebaggery associates squeaking Honest John's sausage.
I'll be dipped. You son of a bitch. Oh, well. What do you do?
Fiddlefuck a triquiteral, then lollygag and capitate. Lunate. Bombdiggitty. Dude. Booyah!
Hamate? Bollocks! Spank my ass, fiddlestick. This hootenanny is exquisite. It is.
Abracadabra.

So, I programmed a simple rock beat, put some guitar riffs on it, and then jammed it full of synthy sweetness, and thought it was the appropriate length. The goal was to use only one vocal take, but to let the effects do their work for any misgivings. Unfortunately, even autotune couldn't correct my singing of "arctic" as "attic," but it will have to do. It's a crap song, but funny, and despite being nonsensical, has meaning because so many contributed. And I developed my own 3-tone autotune effect, as desired. Though, I learned that this effect also does something to the volume, which then means the vocal track has to be copied and multi-layered to make up for that loss. And too much of it makes my old computer struggle to do a good mix. Which I never got, because this was just an experiment. An experiment you can now listen to at:

http://michaelsalamone.com/The One We All Wrote.mp3

Thanks to everyone who played along. It was a fun way to geek out.